What do we really know?

Hello and welcome to our first focus.

I am genuinely excited to begin this project, mostly because it is the first time I have undertaken public sharing without harbouring a level of attachment linked to an external goal or agenda. That distinction, rather than easing the pressure to complete the task, has actually intensified it, because it is truly a personal journey. There is inner awareness trying to birth here and of course I have not even a glimpse as to what it is; for if I had that awareness, well this process would hardly be necessary!

I began the morning with my trusted rituals. First, a quick perusal of Facebook, followed by a round of Candy Crush (yes I love it) then straight in to creating a sacred space. I lighted my massive white pillar candle, a recent gift from my beautiful husband, burned a bunch of white sage and smudged with Palo Santo wood. I drew an animal magic card for my personal use, just to get the vibe around this project (it was positive) and then decided which of the many books I would use to divine my focus for the day. 

I opted for a Ram Dass book because apart from being awesome, it is what I am reading at the moment. I centred myself, linked to my heart, opened to faith and trust knowing I would find the perfect piece to critique, after all I felt in the flow. I opened the book at quote dealing with …wait for it … psychedelics!  Having never taken acid, this was one spiritual trip I could not comment on. So much for faith and trust!

I continued to ‘divine’ with equally obscure topics coming to the fore. So with the flow reduced to a trickle, my mental ego body came to the ‘rescue’. I dropped the divination and began to scour books for inspiration, then the Your Beautiful Life Book Facebook page. I found some wonderful quotes, but none resonated with a focus for me in this now. I began to flounder, wondering if I should plan this blog, group quotes into topics and follow a logical theme from a beginning to conclusion. Oh really! As if I could manage that! As if I could plan a journey through a year of focus, culminating in an epiphany – after all I’m not *Virgil!  

So I felt completely defeated and unsupported by spirit before I even began. I faced palmed myself with a “What were you thinking!” and shuddered that I might be attempting yet another project characterised by struggle rather than the blissful synchronicity espoused by the ‘new age’. Those of you familiar with the book *Your Beautiful Life will understand that such a response is my core belief playing out. Fortunately now days, it comes in to play rather than to slay. 

As I allow myself to explore the feeling underlying my angst, I realise that before even beginning, despite my intent to be honest and authentic, my mind is already looking for ‘the perfect start.’ Worse than this it has even moved on to the finish line, an entire year away, and in so doing critiqued a project, not even started, as unworthy. That is a classic example of being carried out of the now moment by your thoughts and judgements! Okay, time to breathe back in to the present.

In so doing I can clearly see that my process this morning of reaching in attachment for a simple quote provides probably the most appropriate start to this blog – how ironic! It does this by providing a fantastic illustration as to how affirmation when undertaken from a results driven mindset can appear to work against us; however when viewed from the proper inner awareness, we can understand that it is actually working for us.

My original intention (affirmation) was to be absolutely authentic in this blog, unattached to outcomes and to undertake the journey for my own sake. Then, via my thoughts and actions, I supported an intention that was in direct opposition to the original. I was heading down the path of trying to manufacture ‘something’ out there in my life to show people. That action did not support my intention to be real, so it was thwarted. I felt I was floundering, yet the opposite was true, my higher intentions were being supported in the ‘not getting’ of the lower wanting that, let’s face it, was born of fear. Can you think of any times in your life where your higher intent has been opposed by your lower actions? Can you begin to see that in the ‘not getting’ your true blessing is manifest? Perhaps begin to explore how your higher intent and responses to life might begin to align more. 

I can see how this has played out in my spiritual life for years, because at the foundation of every intent *Susie (my work partner) and I have held has been that we will never sacrifice our spiritual integrity for physical ‘success’. Without the claims of grandeur and self-aggrandisement that many spiritual practitioners espouse, we have been overlooked by those who want a quick fix in their lives – because we promise nothing.  We have always understood that we are all on this path together, that all of us are clearing (or layering) karma and that each and every person must face their own shadow and heal their own life. We have simply tried to create a method and community that embodies this truth and allows you to walk it in empowerment. In this regard, we have been spectacularly successful, as our community is small but truly inspiring!

So I offer you today the truth that even though I have journeyed my spiritual life intensely and for many, many years, I am still in the mire of my own unique illusion, but it is less compelling than for most. The veils continue to be removed – even though there are a great many to go. So I can begin this blog with the following focus…I know nothing of where I am going in this present. And I can share that message with far more truth that any amount of postulating about where I have been and what I have overcome. I love being in the mystery exploring in faith and trust while working at acknowledging when and where its has birthed physically. Importantly, I accept that only in not knowing does the doorway to knowing open so I am exactly where I need to be to continue to grow. After all that angst and judgement my friends, the focus of the day did end up coming from Ram Dass, shared with gratitude and love, I would love to hear from you. 

Namaste Sally

*Refer to www.yourbeautifullife.com.au for more information and clarity