The power of the Turtle

Love is everywhere.

To work with this affirmation I, of course, took it out in to nature. We all love hugging trees hey?

It began with my daily walks with my ‘doe-eyed’ Staffy and ‘old fart’ terrier x, which as any dog owner would know, is an exchange of big love and hence a great way to open the heart centre. I live in a sub-tropical area dotted with tidal lakes and green reserves and have always loved walking my boys amid its natural inhabitants. I walked with concerted consciousness as I let my thoughts go and focussed only on the love of this affirmation. I watched the pelicans glide in to land; the sea eagles stalk their prey and the tiny willy wag tails boldly chase the crows from their turf. It was a panorama of love and grace.

I took my IPod and chose a quite spot to sit in guided meditation, while allowing my dogs to explore. My Staffy, ever the love seeker, interrupted me several times to sit on me or share his excited slobber. I could almost hear him shouting “Watch me Mum”, as he found sticks and ran rampant.  It was the first time my meditation was accompanied by ‘wet dog odour’ instead of Grand Father White sage smoke, but it made me happy. 

I took longer walks along our quiet Hervey Bay beaches and honoured the sun, moon and water as I grounded each step in gratitude. I felt my body, witnessed my mind chatter, and honoured people I encountered. It was impossible not to acknowledge the beauty around me, reflected in such glorious diversity. It was clear that amid the different vistas I visited, the common ground was the love I felt in my heart and further, that this love transcended form, action and judgement. I felt a sense of melancholy though, as I could not help but accept that my love could not transcend my own self-judgement, or indeed in certain cases, my judgement of others. It was equally clear however, that the means to extend this loving awareness to myself did exist within me. I just wasn’t too sure where it was or how I would recognise it. I was like a prisoner who had long yearned to experience the world she observed and who had, for the first time, noticed the bars that kept it at bay. It will be interesting to see how solid or pliable those bars are.

Following this realisation, the very next day my family received an invitation to join friends on their boat for an adventure across the Great Sandy Straits, to Platypus Bay and K’gari (Fraser Island). The forecast was for one of those perfect days when the boating gods align – and how right it was. There was hardly a breath of wind; the water was like glass, the sky a cloudless azure and the temperature perfect. When we cut the engine and drifted with the tides, we were joined by several pods of dolphins circling the boat in a 20m radius and my heart swelled. The water was so flat that we sighted a turtle floating on the top and gently approached it as we thought it might be injured and we could assist. Then we noticed others in the vicinity doing the same thing. They were sunning their shells, getting some winter warmth, diving under the water only if our boat drifted too close. I didn’t even know turtles did that. It was as though I'd been invited to glimpse or share his reality and it was truly delightful.

We anchored and then waded ashore to picnic on the most pristine and largest sand island in the world. There were no people in sight as we sat in the shade of native trees, buried our feet under white sand, ate gorgeous food and sipped a little wine. Later, as I sat on the bow of the boat, dangling my feet in the cool water I was, for maybe the first time in my life, fully present in the moment. I’m not talking here of merely an absence of worldly ‘worry’, it was much deeper than that. It extended to the core of my usual self-identification; I became part of nature rather than an ego observing it ‘outside’ me. There was actually nowhere else I wanted to be, either mentally, physically, emotionally or spiritually. Those planes of awareness seemed to unify in that moment and as such I temporarily transcended my ego attachments, which are the things that I cling to, that we all cling to, that make us believe our stories and so be limited by them. The experience was both exhilarating as well as a little sobering.

The exhilaration came from feeling connected to such beauty in absolute gratitude, safety and awe. The sense of perfection of nature, the rise and fall of tides, the collective intelligence of the animal kingdom, the seasons and the sense of being an aspect of something much bigger, wiser and loving. The sobering feeling emerged from identifying the anomaly that existed within my own reality in that I could feel such love expansion for a turtle, but could not extend it to myself, even though we are both aspects of the whole. For me to love truly, I must see both of us as worthy. Could I ever authentically speak of loving nature again while I simultaneously cast myself from her in unworthiness? I didn’t think so. I’ve always been all about spiritual integrity and walking the talk, so I must work with this.

It has brought my Western identity to the fore and the need to look deeply at my beliefs and judgements that ares so ingrained that they are bars of limitation from behind which I engage my life. I want to be free and that process is an inside job that I and a few like-minded friends are now working with. Our foundations are already shaking and groaning – it is very exciting.

I have enjoyed working with this affirmation. It has brought me to more fully engage my life as well as anchor gratitude for the present and hope for the future. I am even beginning to see the beauty of my soul shine through and fear is melting away. In the presence of soul, the finite is clearly visible and the urge to cling to it is revealed as futile. The only foundations we have are our finite illusions. If we give them up willingly, then there is no need for them to be ripped from us.

It seems timely to continue on with the next part of the original affirmation.

I am loving and loveable.

I chose the picture in this blog, like all of them, for a reason. Can I see my own beauty within it; can you see yours? 

I will only be able to embody this if I can get out of my Western conditioning – but that is the topic for the next blog. I hope you’ll join me, this should be interesting. 

Namaste Sally

www.yourbeautifullife.com.au