Susie and I arrived India with the joy and hope of the
westerner that has totally immersed themselves in the romanticism of eastern
spiritual text. The concept of ‘guru’ was particularly compelling to us, not as
a way out, but as a way in.
We were hoping to pass through on our travels as observers,
allowing our experiences to unfold organically. The image of India we have long
held in our hearts is one of spiritual purity, however this beauty like all
others is definitely in the eye of the beholders. Our intent to know the ‘real’
India has taken us on a journey that has shattered that illusion within the
first six days, which is perhaps her greatest gift to us… oh the irony!
The moment we landed we were co-creating within a reality
for which we had no point of reference beyond our respect and reverence for the
best of the culture. Trying to locate it however amid the din of the everyday
India is deeply confronting and challenging.
Now we’re not referring to the filth and shit on the
streets, the beggars or poverty, the traffic, noxious diesel fumes or heat -
all of that is tempered by the colour, beauty and spontaneity of the people, it
is fascinating and fills the heart. We are referring to the need to protect and
defend yourself at every turn, to push back resolute and firm which is a direct
polarity of what we thought would unfold. We learned quickly that as two white women
we needed to cultivate an armour if we wanted to immerse ourselves here…
without it, you best take a tour bus.
So the ‘assault’ many friends warned us about has not been so
much to the physical senses. Instead it has emerged once again from confronting
polarity while trying to hold our spiritual truth. No easy task in a place of
such overpowering extremes and complex social mores.
At the time of writing we are nearly halfway through our
holiday in search of spiritual unfoldment. Ironically what we have often been
greeted with is an extreme representation of what many perceive is the worst
aspects of western culture… the lust for money, racial stereotyping and superiority.
It has been exhausting and deeply revealing to meet our illusions in this way.
It proves once again that no matter where you are, the journey is always an
inside job.
Do we still cling to ideas that India is superior to the
western materialism we come from? No. Do we entertain the notion that people
here live a deeper spiritual understanding due to the suffering they endure?
No. This awareness has bridged the separation we had unconsciously cultivated
between our own spirituality and that of the ‘guru’. A comparison that left us
always coming up short. Never again will we uphold this illusion. So thank you
India for gifting our own culture back to us and supporting the acceptance of ‘what
is’ and where we are.
We have visited temples, sat in ancient meditation caves,
met sadhus, learned from a Hanuman monkey master and sat before an
extraordinary psychic masquerading as a guru. We have also experienced the
reverence of what is considered the most beautiful man made structure, the Taj
Mahal. Yet, what we thought we were looking for has not come via any of these
experiences, as guided and beautiful as they were. Our learning has instead
emerged from the more distasteful aspects such as scams that are both endemic and
unrelenting and which rise from a system that is often invisible to the western
psyche. The racial judgement and assumptions about western women, particularly
travelling without a male are frequently confronting.
In the experience of these polarities of great beauty and
great pain our hearts have broken open. Ironically, the culture pushes us to
retract and close just like our own often does. Frankly, to remain open is
bloody hard work! We now sit ripe with emptiness and a lack of intent as to
what will unfold for the remainder of our journey.
So it is midday here and we are about to enter the desert
city of Jodhpur. Another afternoon and evening of wandering in utterly
fantastic chaos. We know now that we are working with personal power. It is so
ironic to come from the safety a western culture to a developing nation to
claim our power don’t you think? As always spirit shakes our patterns in ways
that we can never prepare for, but fortunately the cost is only to ego which
then exposes the gift of soul. Tomorrow we drive deeper into desert of our
Rajasthan road trip! Now that we have our power in place…bring it on.
Sally and Susie
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