I arrived home a few days
ago following a fantastic time working in Melbourne. Susie, (the co-author of
Your Beautiful Life) and I facilitated spiritual events ranging from general
and soul channeling to intensive workshops and open discussion groups. It was
an amazing time characterised by such depth, love, compassion and awe that I am
finding it challenging to gracefully ‘drop’ back in to my old ego routine.
I can't seem to let go of
the themes we explored during those events, some of which included justice,
rage, beauty, gridding, connection, freedom, honour, groundlessness and more. I
know I must avoid cultivating attachment to what has passed or what might still
be, however I'm struggling to find the middle ground, that is, the spiritual
path. The hooks of what once triggered me are less sharp but the hooks to the
guides perspective I witness in the channeling space are exerting pressure. I want to surrender (escape) to that place of spirit where even the darkest energy returns to unity. It is an
interesting conundrum to witness in the self, as I trade one attachment for
another and consciously try to release them all.
Truly the higher perspective
of guided wisdom fans my inner flame so much that I don’t want to let go in
case it diminishes. It once again shows me where I think I am not, as I assume that all I experienced was only a reflection of the guides' intelligence and so not part of
me. I need to accept that I, even in my imperfection, play a pivotal role in
what emerges in the sacred channeling space - as does every person whom I
channel for. Each connection is an intimate and unique experience because of the truth of
co-creation. The greatest blessing of an open heart is the awareness of soul
that it ushers in - there is nothing like it and I can't blame myself for holding on to it so tenderly.
As I now let it all go and
return to the mundane, all I can do is sit in the knowing that the grace I have
witnessed did indeed filter through my own heart and so will continue to
influence my life. I intend to seek loving awareness in the meals I prepare,
the washing I do, the resistance in the yoga pose and in the eyes of all I
meet. To quote Dogen: “If you can’t find truth where you are, where else do you
expect to find it?” Maybe I will ascend as I wash the dishes!
It has been so long since I
ventured back to this blog that I had to read over the last entry just to get
my bearings. Meditation was my last focus, which is fortunate, as I headed out
to resume my Buddhist teaching on that very subject last night. It was
challenging to anchor in single pointed meditation and not slip in to the rich
world of the guides. I must continue to persevere though, as I clear my
attachment I have an inkling that the irony will be that my channel to the
guides will deepen. It is all the motivation I need.
Last night in class I received my first mantra and I must say I love it. My much loved mala bracelet is now more
than a mere trinket as I use it in the traditional way to count the recitation
of the mantra. I have to say it is helping me let go of distraction because my mind is busy on
all planes of awareness. I need to continually monitor my physical posture, count
the mala beads for the recitation, concentrate on the breath, the heart
connection to light, the abiding in the heart and then release it all so it
definitely keeps the mind from wondering what is for dinner or reaching to
speak to guides. I highly recommend it as a practice.
My affirmation for the week
is an ongoing intent that I wish to embody. I am focusing on being loving
awareness. I see it as a life’s work, where all other lessons and initiations
will emerge from. I hope to be able to share my experiences with this intent
from now on, rather than work on individual affirmations.
Until next we connect.
Namaste
Sally
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